Pole dancing is painful. The entire premise is built on the fact that you need to hold yourself off the floor by pressing your body into a metal pole. All pole dance moves are a bit painful when you first begin learning, but your skin and body adapts and most things become tolerable quite quickly. There are some moves however which just seem to bring the same level of pain no matter how many times you do them. There’s skin pinching and tearing Chinese burn style, direct bone on pole contact and grips in really sensitive places. If you ever master these moves, I think you just have to keep doing them consistently for eternity. I’m sure if you take a break for any longer than a week the pain will come bouncing right back at you while the pole dance gods laugh evilly in the background. Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present the most painful pole dance moves of all time.
There are two very distinctive things to note about myself as a pole dancer and I’m sure my fellow instructors and class mates will agree. Number one, I’m tall, I’m nearly 5”10, which can be a hazard in pole class. The second thing is I have terrible grip on the pole, particularly hand grip and foot grip. Not ideal as a pole dancer I’m sure we can all agree. I don’t know why, but it’s always been the case. I’m constantly wiping the pole down with my towel, or with metho, or applying dry hands, whatever seems to work best on the night. But still I’ll have pole training sessions where no matter what lotions or potions I try, NOTHING works. I’ve never completed a single routine in pole class because at some point I just won’t have the grip required and I’ll have to dismount my pole and awkwardly freestyle a little until the rest of the class completes their beautiful combos. I’m very careful about what tricks I include in any compeition routines because I just don’t trust my damn hands. I’d really love to phoenix in a routine, it’s a deep haunting desire of mine. I once put a ragdoll/punchfront/reiko combo in a routine as my last combo and not once did I complete a run through where I had sufficient grip to complete it. In the end I changed my combo at the last minute and totally stuffed it, but that’s another story. Oh, and summer just makes it worse, I’m just a hot sweaty mess. The more I rub the sweat in, the more I sweat. The only thing I like about winter is the fact that I grip slightly better in the cold. I’ve tried pretty much every grip there is and some other alternative methods and sadly I’m still a slippery bitch.
But there may still be hope for you, so I’ve compiled a list of grips and tips to help you out: